""Kick Ass" Kicks Ass! - Aaron Johnson, Christopher Mintz-Plasse, Nicholas Cage (2010)

Just got back from the latest cinematographic attempt to lure prepubescent males into the theaters and, yes, it was my idea.

About a kid who wants to know why know one actually becomes a super hero, he decides to go for it.

He buys a green and yellow scuba suit and a pair of stick weapons and starts looking for trouble.

And he finds it in spades.

This movie is hilariously funny, wrought with the raunchiness of teen-age boys, blood lust and waves of unexpected violence--so unexpected my friend actually screamed.

The movie's violence and premise is outrageously ingenious and at times almost too horrific to watch. In many ways, the movie reminded me of Pulp Fiction and Kill Bill but without the cultural references. Well, I guess it did if you were an adolescent boy.

But no parent in their right mind would let their kid see this. Of course, that's never stopped kids before.

So beware. But also be ready to laugh your ass off.

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Phoebe in Wonderland - Elle Fanning, Felicity Huffman, Patricia Clarkson, Bill Pullman (2008)

Phoebe in Wonderland takes an extremely interesting movie takes a different spin on Alice in Wonderland, and examines the world of a a 9-year old girl struggling with self control in her rigid, rules-based world.

The directorial debut of Daniel Barnz, the movie is based on a screenplay that he wrote 10 years prior.

Elle Fanning, younger sister of Dakota Fanning, shows herself to be just as formidable of an actress as her sister. At the tender age of 10, she firmly hold the center of the stage.

Patricia Clarkson, fast becoming one of my favorite actresses, gives another sublime performance. Her acting is so effortless that you don't even recognize it as acting. She just IS.

The story is a fascinating look at a young girl's struggle with compulsive behavior and the anxiety it causes in her obviously bright and artistic family. Bill Pullman plays Phoebe's father and is an English professor. Felicity Huffman, of Desperate Housewives fame, struggles with motherhood and her attempts to finish her dissertation. And Bailee Madison, as Phoebe's younger sister, is a bright light as her supportive, yet frustrated younger sister. All give very strong supporting performances.

And another favorite of mine, Campbell Scott, makes an appearance as the school principal.

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Blind Side - Sandra Bullock (2009)

Blind Side tells the true story of how one woman and her family pick up a homeless young black man off the streets of Memphis and turn his life around.

Sandra Bulluck plays Leigh Anne Tuohy, the affluent wife of former MBA basketball player Sean Tuohy, played by Tim McGraw.

The Tuohys spot "Big Mike" walking down the road after they've all left the Christian private school that the Tuohy's children and Mike attend. Leigh Anne decides to take this 300-pound 17-year old black kid into their home for the night.

Mike was brought into the school as a charity case. A nearly grown foster kid that has bounced from house to house, his mother is a crack addict and his father is unknown. He thinks he has somewhere between 10-12 brothers and sisters but he is unsure where they all are.

So by the time Leigh Anne meets him, he can barely read and he is so shut down that he won't hardly talk.

Bit by bit, Leigh Anne works with Michael to show him that there is hope, there is love and there is family.

Beth: You're changing that boy's life.
Leigh Anne Touhy: No, he's changing mine.

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Dead and Gone (2009) by Charlaine Harris - from the series that spawned "True Blood"

The only reason I don't despise this book is because I only paid $1 for it at a garage sale.

One of the books that spawned HBO's "True Blood" series, Sookie Stackhouse lives and works in a small town outside of Lafayette, Louisiana.

At the risk of sounding like one of her more uptight and judgmental enemies, she consorts with vampires, werewolves and fairies--clearly another class of people.

One of the most basic flaws that rubbed me through the whole book was her spelling of the name "Tray". It is bad enough when it is spelled "Trey" but to purposefully misspell it "Tray" is unforgivable in my mind.

Then all the vampire mythology is twisted and bended to the author's needs--a similar issue that I had with the Twilight series.

How can authors transgress 100s of years of established vampire and werewolf mythology to write this junk? All of a sudden a werewolf transforms not into a wolf but a border collie because it would be easier for humans to accept? Come on!

And these books are really grizzly. Very grizzly. Crucifixions, torture, sex. Which is okay, but the cover is very misleading and makes it appear to be a young adult book. I wouldn't let my young adult read them!

As I said, I am really glad I only paid a $1.

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Steampunk Jewelry - Beautiful, Handmade Goth Jewelry

Looking for something really interesting and gorgeous for your teen-ager? A ring, perhaps, maybe a bracelet?

Well, check out Steampunk Jewelry--a British artisan who has handcrafted some of the most interesting jewelry that I have seen in a long time.

In fact, I am lusting over a certain amethyst bracelet myself. And seeing as I have already bought everyone their presents, all the rest of my Christmas shopping is for me, Me, ME!!!

Sorry. Got a little carried away there.

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Precious (2009)

Precious was probably one of the most surprising and most disturbing movies that I have seen this year.

Starring Gabourey 'Gabby' Sidibe as Precious, this movie descends into a world that few of us have ever seen.

Precious lives in the Ghetto of New York, the illegitimate first daughter of a mother who has enslaved her and her offspring in return for welfare checks.

Precious is beaten and abused by her mother Mary--portrayed by Mo'Nique--who then allows her boyfriend to repeatedly rape Precious. By the age of 16, Precious is pregnant again with her second child.

The movie is horrific. The scenes between Precious and Mary are so full of tension, I was literally bracing myself for the next blow. I understood why people kill one another. The rage hung in the air like huge sides of beef waiting to be slaughtered.

But intermixed with these terrible, sad scenes were scenes full of joy and laughter: girls giggling over boys, a baby's new eyes, a young girl's dreams of love and fame.

There were some stand-out performances in this movie, especially among the Precious' classmates. Mo'Nique, as Mary, was hands down brilliant: I hated her, was repulsed by her and lost all sense of compassion for her. Gabby Sidiby, in her very first film ever, was astonishing in playing the role with such mulish, hulking determination. Mariah Carey, as Precious' social worker, gave a steady performance but sometimes looked a bit bemused to be on film.

The direction was extremely well done; the tone was never so unbearable that I could not take watching it. The movie covers a terrible subject but Lee Daniels did a good job of maintaining an even stream of emotions, handling the movie's emotions like a sailboat across a stormy sea.

I walked away from this movie thankful that I had seen a part of America I would never have witnessed before but should have known a long time ago.

For all those young, hopeless women out there: May you find love.

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I Love You, Man - Paul Rudd (2009)

In an effort to ride of wave of Seth Rogen and Will Ferrell's low-brow bromances, here comes "I Love You, Man" starring Paul Rudd.

Although I do like Paul Rudd, I think he sold his soul to the devil to make this movie.

Yeah, there were some funny spots that did have me laughing out loud. Really. When Rudd is posing in his tux, I was cracking up. The whole story about his boy/friend Sydney's dog, Anwar Sadat was funny.

But in all fairness to the fairer sex and to any form of intelligent life that still remains out there in moviewatcher-land, this is not one of the movies that you want to go see.

Perhaps, as a chick, I am a little biased. Perhaps, as an older, more literary woman, this movie is beyond me.

But I don't think so. I like "The Big Lebowski". I thought "Hungover" was actually really funny. I count "Wayne's World" as one of my favorite movies. But this movie just got silly towards the end and the last 5 minutes were painful.

Go, if you must, but you have been forewarned.

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